I’m raising someone’s husband

Such a beautiful post! I know I feel this way, and I’m sure many of you other boy mom’s out there do as well!

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Mama Swartwood

I’mraising someone’s husband.

This is the thought that’s been rocking my brain for the past few weeks. It doesn’t even need to be said that every new parent is petrified of what kind of job they’re going to do at raising their children, so here’s just one new momma’s inside look.

I grew up in a household where my parents were very good at expressing their love for each other. Never a phone call, a good bye, a hello, a good job – nothing in our household went without an “I love you.”

But, nothing lasts forever and what I thought was written in the stars, crumbled so suddenly it sent me into a frantic sense of being that nothing can last forever.

Now, I’ve made it a point that I will show my kids just how much I love their father. That even if they happen to…

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Spilled Milk

This made me stop and think..
We should all take something from this post!

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3 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was Single

Loved this post!!  Please comment, like and follow on the original blog post.

I remember the hardest day of the week for me when I was single was Sunday. Specifically Sunday right after church.

Many of my other single friends would have plans with their families that day, but not me. My family lived 9 hours away.

So, I’d walk through the parking lot watching young moms ooh and ahh over Sunday school artwork and I’d think, “Their lives seem so blissfully full.”

3 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was Single.

Breaking The Rules

I’m breaking the blogging rules today by even writing anything.. The rule that says not to post when upset, angry, etc..  I just feel I need to write and get it out.

Why, just when I feel things are going great, does everything seem to blow up in my face??  Do I just not have enough faith?  I don’t want to sound like a poor pitiful me type but damn sometimes it’s just so hard!  All I want is to be my normal happy, optimistic self; where did she go and when can I expect to see her again??  That’s all I want to know.  I started the year thinking this was it, it was going to be my year!  I honestly believed it would be!  I could see my family’s future and it was beautiful!  Now, these past few days esp, all I see is more of the same, depressing life.  Nothing seems to be going right.  All I want is to have a happy family, in our own space, and to raise our children in a happy, loving home.  I want to instill in them that life can be what you make it.  It can be great, if that’s what you thrive for.  How can I do that if I don’t feel that way?  How can I force myself to see the good that has to be there somewhere?  It seems lately that everywhere I turn is another huge wall or obstacle that I can’t see over or around and I have no idea how to conquer it.  Why is life so hard??  I know that we all ask ourselves these things occasionally and that makes me feel like a whiny, spoiled brat.  But how do you overcome the hardships?  How do you restore balance and happiness in your life when you honestly just can’t see it ahead of you?  I try so hard to please my husband and be the best mom ever, but I feel like I fail miserably, almost on a daily basis.  I do understand that a lot of our circumstances are of our own making, but I desperately want to turn it around, I just can’t see how.

So here’s to anyone out there hurting over anything and feeling stuck in a rut that just seems to grow bigger instead of showing any sign of escape..  May you all find the happiness that you all deserve!  I know in my heart that God has all of this and all I have to do is have faith that things will get better, implementing that knowledge and faith in my own life is proving to be my Achilles heel!

Am I A Good Mom?? (A Question I think Every Mom Asks Herself)

My youngest son is what I call rambunctious.. I knew from the moment I brought him home that he would not be the quiet, easy going little boy his brother is.  He is sometimes so Type-A that it is really hard to be around him, yet at other times, he’s as sweet and loving as I could ever hope for.  I call him Type-A, but I really don’t know what “type” he is.  He is very loud, even in general speaking, and he can be quite ornery.. he is quite often the center of attention and seems to ALWAYS need to be.  He is also one of the most passionate, sweet, caring and loving little boys I know.  He can be very shy, to the point of hiding behind me (and he now stands up to about my mid chest).. he loves to be the center of attention, but only when he initiates it, he can walk into a room full of people he sees every day, but if they all take notice at once, he’s immediately shy..  It is a sincere shy too, he gets embarrassed and has his feelings hurt fairly easily..

I’m rambling, but my point is, I have two very different personalities in my boys and sometimes I feel like there’s more than one with my youngest (not seriously).  If you’re still with me, I’m actually getting to my point now..

Monday night was one of his particularly rambunctious nights.. We were constantly having to get on to him to finish his dinner (he’s a very picky eater and tends to do anything but eat at dinner time).  I got to the point where I told him that if I had to get on to him one more time, he would not watch TV that night.  Of course, he didn’t get to watch, and he had many more than one more infarction.  As he realized he would not be allowed his TV, he says to me “well, that just makes me want to be bad tomorrow too”.  UGH!!  I told him to go right ahead, but Rudolph would be on tomorrow and if he was bad, he would miss that.

Fast forward a bit and we’ve finished reading and I’m putting him to bed, he asks, “do I still get to watch Rudolph tomorrow?”  I told him if he could be good then we would watch it together.  Then, as I’m turning out his light and walking out of his room I hear, “will you help me be good, Mommy?”  Instant melt!  That boy can send me into so many different directions!  I don’t know if it translates well in this post, but that was such a sweet, innocent little question that basically brought me to my knees.

It’s had me questioning my skills as a mom.  Do I really spend enough time with them?  Do I show them daily how to become good, loving adults?  Am I shaping them into the men that I know they can someday be?  I can only hope and pray that I am.  It may seem silly to all of you that one little question like that can bring about all these worries and fears, but in this life, we have so much going on in a single day that it’s hard to stop and just “be” with the people we love.  I am trying to make a conscious effort from now on to spend at least some quality time with my boys every day.  Even if it is just to read before bed.  I get home so late, my husband usually already has supper ready and I feel like I’m running on fumes so they tend to get very little time with mommy, at least it feels that way to me.  What’s more important than being with your children, loving them and enforcing in them that they are amazing, beautiful, and so worthy of love?  I am hoping to remind myself of all of this the next time they are getting on my nerves.. the next time Zach is being soo annoying, or Kylar is giving his 13 yr old attitude, and I hope an pray that I don’t fail too many times.

Sitting here typing, I can feel the love and comfort from last night, being snuggled up watching Rudolph together.  Pretty soon they won’t care anything about cuddling with mom so I intend to enjoy every second.

So, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to go home and hopefully do something constructive with my babies…